I have been a part of this place for almost three years now and have experienced so much professionally and personally that I would never give it up for anything else. Over the course of this time I have come to meet many people from my city of birth – Hyderabad. Hyderabadis (people from Hyderabad) are much like hobbits. They are very hospitable and earthy creatures who love their foods and their comforts. More on the hobbitidy of Hyderabadis later.
Being such people it is never an easy move for us to leave the comfortable confines of our homes and travel abroad. It becomes even more difficult if you are unmarried. I have a more sensitive post waiting to be published but for now here is something on a lighter side.
New to Dubai
- You are surprised that there are so many desis in Dubai
India se bahar gaye jaisa dikhraich nai
- Your initial days here are spent ogling at sports cars
- You learn that the term desi refers to Indians and Pakistanis
- You are surprised that the guys at the immigration counter and many locals speak fluent Hindi/Urdu
- Your first few pictures on Facebook after arriving are:
- With your luggage / just a jacket and glasses at the airport
- Standing in front of Burj Khalifa
- With an exotic sports car
- At the beach
- In your room, cooking
- You start looking for residences in Dubai but end up sharing an apartment in Sharjah
- Rolla and Hor Al Anz are the first options people will give you as prospective residential areas
- You look for Hyderabadi roommates
Apne loga rehna aas paas
- While departing from Hyderabad you were warned against lending money to others and you nodded your agreement
- You end up lending people money
- You think you don’t need a whole flat until you are married
- When you get married you think it is alright to leave your wife back home to ‘save money’
- Pathans consider you a Pakistani
- When people find out that you are an Indian their usual follow-up question is, “From Kerala?”
- The follow-up question pisses you off
Dealing with other ethnicities
- You refer to any Asian as a Chapta
- You refer to citizens of Bangladesh as Bangali
- You have had at least one experience of making fun of a chapta while standing next to him in Hindi and then realizing that the chapta was a desi and understood everything you said
Food
- You read the price list in any restaurant and then order food
- You convert the prices to INR and decide that you are not very hungry after all
Bhook nai hai baap, thodi der pehleich khaya
- Among all the multifarious cuisines available in Dubai or UAE your favorites are Hyderabadi. Period.
- If you don’t find a Hyderabadi restaurant your order of preference is Pakistani, Bangali and Malabari
- You know of no other cuisines that are available here (like North Indian, Gujrati, Iranian, Turkish, etc. you get the picture)
- Your primary diet is rice-oriented meals
Bhai chawal jab tak nai khaye khana aang ku nai lagta!
- Anything that has no gosht (meat) in it is either salad dressing/snack/illness food and strictly against your culture
- You are a huge fan of the Arabic cuisine but usually don’t know their names (except Mandi of course!)
- You will never ever try Filipino cuisine
Kya kya daallete ki chapte
- You defend Hyderabad’s ownership of Biryani very aggressively
- ou think gosht supplies your body with the needed Calcium, Vitamins and Proteins
- If you are not sure of what to order at a non-hyderabadi restaurant, you order biryani
- The only additional request you have with your order is:
Zara gosht accha daalke laao
Personal upkeep
- You think fat arms means big biceps
- You think tight t-shirts highlight your biceps but hide your paunch
- You don’t mind taking a dip in the ocean in your trousers
Chaddi pack karna bhoolgaya baap
- You wear a vest to the swimming pool
Languages
- You think it surprising that people consider Telugu to be the local language in Hyderabad (Hyderabadi is the official language of Hyderabad!)
- People’s amazement at your inability to speak Telugu surprises and annoys you
- You know only nouns in Arabic
- You speak Arabic in a flat accent
- You think you speak perfect Arabic
- You have the remarkable talent of switching accents when talking to people from different ethnicities
- Your accent-switching talent is not limited to Urdu/Hindi alone
- Your accuracy in the English grammar varies with the person you are talking to
- The use of the expression ‘Baigan!‘ is the among the first things your non-hyderabadi friends learn from you
- Phrases like Akhi, My Friend, Habibi, Tammudu, Chida become a part of your vocabulary
- Reading the phrases above you know precisely which phrase is used for which nationality
- You are now smiling (probably)
- Non-hyderabadi hindi speakers will talk to you in Hyderabadi soon as they find out that you are from Hyderabad
- Non-hyderabadis try to imitate the Hyderabadi accent by talking in a Bengaluri accent
- You don’t correct them until their imitation becomes annoying
- Among the first things they try to say is
‘Kya hai miya / Kya hai yaaro‘
I miss Hyderabad!
- You cannot help but find similarities between locations here and back home
Bur Dubai poora Sultan Bazar dikhta
- You compare the food here with the food there
Paradise ki to bhi isse acchi rehti biryani
- You go shopping for clothes here and decide that the quality and pricing is better in Hyderabad
- In Hyderabad, you realize that it was much better in Dubai itself
Personal time
- Sleep, food and rest play a very important role in your well-being
- You walk about Dubai like you own the place (hell yeah!)
- Your favorite hangout spot in Dubai is Filli at Mamzar
- You hang out in places that serve chai (tea) and sutta (cigarettes)
- You think you look cool in photographs if you don’t smile
- You have in depth discussions of the various eateries in Mehdipatnam and Tolichowki
- In case of unavailability of sutta you hang out with friends who are likely to have a whole pack
- You have at least one friend who is in the construction business
- You have at least one friend who you sponsor to come to Dubayy
- If you are above 40 your outing wale kapde are always formals
- To you Hookah and Sheesha are the same
- Marina walk is Goron ka adda
- When new here, at Sheesha bars you always order at least one Double Apple
- Your weekends are spent sleeping, doing laundry, skyping with family and girlfriends, sleeping some more and hanging out at your favorite chabutra
- If anybody asks you regards your plans for the weekend your answer invariably is Sleeping
Vacation Mode!
- Anybody going home is entrusted with a ‘parcel’ to carry
Bhai ghar ke waastey thoda saamaan bhejna hai aapke saath
- Said parcel is promised to be a small package not heavier than 5kgs
- Said parcel turns out to be a microwave, a television, some chocolates, clothes and a cell phone bought at Gitex or DSO
- You think Max is the best place to shop for clothes
- You think malls are good places for outings
- You plan your vacations around Eid
- You book your tickets a week before Eid and resolve to book your tickets for the next year’s vacation well in advance
- You make the same mistake the next year and resolve to be better the following year
- You never stop making this mistake
- Your shopping list for vacation includes – Dry fruits, Chocolates and Perfumes to say the least
- You purchase them all from Carrefour or Lulu or worse – Rolla
- Your request for a vacation usually starts with ‘I have to urgently go to India as there is some emergency’
- You prefer going for umrah by road
- The first hour after returning from vacation is spent unpacking the food items and placing them in the refrigerator
- While doing so you set aside a few kababs / a plate of biryani for immediate consumption
- When you finish the first round you decide to try and see what it tastes like when microwaved
Meeting with other Hyderabadis
- You can spot other Hyderabadis just by taking one look at them
- Soon as you hear someone talking hyderabadi your first instinct is to avoid them
- If said instinct fails you end up talking to them and by the time you are done you both have discussed:
- Addresses in Hyderabad
- Addresses in Dubai/Sharjah
- Experience/Career history in Gulf
- Job openings for some random acquaintance in the other’s company
- An unspoken camaraderie exists between you and any other
Money Matters
- You make a whole scene of your responsibilities back home but have zero savings for them
- You think you are the only one with responsibilities
- A lot of your money is usually tied up in loans to friends
- You would rather buy a Hello card than invest in a postpaid connection
Getting around
- Travelling by Metro or RTA is looked down upon (you think they are the same as the MMTS or RTC back home)
- You’d rather drive around for a quarter hour to look for a kacchi parking than pay for parking
- Availability of free parking space is the key deciding factor for your destination on an outing (‘Ja re parking nai milti udhar‘)
- You prefer driving on a longer route to using the shorter Salik-route regardless of the time or petrol spent
- The petrol indicator is always hovering dangerously over E, you cannot seem to get over the habit of saving money on petrol
Socializing
- In a group, most of what you say is mockery of a hapless member in the group
- When going home on vacation you dress up for a sophisticated look and not for comfort
- Hydro references are a big part of your jokes
- You think you are smooth with the girls but end up just standing in a group and eyeing a girl out of the corner of your eyes
- You make fun of anybody who is punctual / sincere in their job
Ramadan
- You have the most fun with the reduced timings during Ramadan
- You don’t mind working the regular hours during Ramadan but go home early just so you can catch some sleep
- You go to sleep after Suhoor
- Your nights are spent at the chabutra making plans for the iftar / suhoor the following day
- You miss Dahi Wade and Haleem a lot during Ramadan
- You secretly love and prefer the Taraweeh prayers here
- You spend the hour before Iftar making crisps and other fried stuff
Pingback: Miya bhai in Dubai | Just saying...