Miya bhai in Dubai

What does it mean to be a bachelor miya bhai in UAE, or any other country! (Read through the Disclaimer to avoid any misunderstandings)

1. When you were new here, you were surprised that there are so many desis in Dubai (‘India se bahar gaye jaisa dikhraich nai‘)
2. You learnt that the term desi refers to Indians and Pakistanis
3. You were surprised that the guys at the immigration counter and many locals spoke fluent Hindi/Urdu
4. You start looking for residences in Dubai but end up sharing an apartment in Sharjah
5. Rolla and Hor Al Anz are the first options people will give you as prospective residential areas
6. You think you don’t need a whole flat until you are married
7. You refer to any Asian as a Chapta
8. You refer to citizens of Bangladesh as Bangali
9. Among all the multifarious cuisines available in Dubai your favorites are Hyderabadi. Period.
10. If you don’t find any Hyderabadi hotel (we have done away with restaurants, cafes, etc.) your preference is Pakistani, Bangali and Malabari and strictly in that order
11. You look through the entire menu (or listen to the entire well-versed recitation from the waiter) and end up ordering Biryani regardless of where you are eating
12. Your primary diet is rice-oriented meals (“Bhai chawal jab tak nai khaye khana aang ku nai lagta!“)
13. You defend Hyderabad’s ownership of Biryani very aggressively
14. You are a huge fan of the Arabic cuisine but usually don’t know their names (except Mandi of course!)
15. You will never ever try Filipino cuisine (‘Kya kya daallete ki chapte‘)
16. Marina walk is Goron ka adda
17. Phrases like Akhi, My Friend, Habibi, Tammudu, Chida become a part of your vocabulary
18. Reading the phrases above you know precisely which phrase is used for which nationality
19. You are now smiling (probably)
20. You cannot help but find similarities between locations here and back home (‘Bur Dubai poora Sultan Bazar dikhta‘)
21. You go shopping for clothes here and decide that the quality and pricing is better in Hyderabad
22. When people find out that you are an Indian their usual follow-up question is, “From Kerala?”
23. The follow-up question pisses you off
24. In Ramadan you miss dhai wade and haleem and discuss it at least once during the day
25. You locate places that serve these and try them out
26. You are never satisfied with what they offer ‘Rumaan ke saamne milta dekho jo bhi milta‘ or ‘Shah Ghouse ki baat nai aati‘
27. Anybody going home on vacation is entrusted with a ‘parcel’ to carry (‘Bhai ghar ke waastey thoda saamaan bhejna hai aapke saath‘)
28. Said parcel is promised to be not over 5 kgs
29. Said parcel turns out to be a microwave, a tv set, a few clothes, chocolates and so on
30. You plan your vacations around Eid
31. You book your tickets a week before Eid and find that they are either unavailable or very expensive
32. You resolve to book your tickets for the next year’s vacation well in advance
33. You make the same mistake the next year and resolve to be better the following year
34. You never stop making this mistake
35. Your request for a vacation usually starts with ‘I have to urgently go to India as there is some emergency’
36. The first hour after returning from vacation is spent unpacking the food items and placing them in the refrigerator
37. You can spot other Hyderabadis just by taking one look at them
38. You wouldrather buy a Hello card than invest in a postpaid connection
39. You’d rather spend a quarter-hour looking for a kacchi parking than pay for parking
40. Availability of kacchi parking is a major factor in deciding destinations on an outing
41. The petrol indicator in your car is always hovering dangerously over E, old habits die hard
42. You go to extra mile to avoid Salik routes
43. You walk around Dubai like you own the place (hell yeah!)

Disclaimer:

1. A bachelor miya bhai is any sad lonely soul living by himself in Dubai/Sharjah
2. Miya bhai is a male adult (over 20) Hyderabadi
3. Miya bhais in other Gulf countries may relate to it too
4. Haven’t encountered many miya bhens (or behens) so this is just about the guys (male chauvinism at its finest!)
5. Khatti daal people and non-khatti daal have both been considered for this list (although I have favored the khatti daals more)
6. If you pronounce Hyderabad as Hydra-bad (with either one or both the ds sounding like the d in dog) then you cannot call yourself a Hyderabadi
7. This jab is in jest, dil pe nakko lo

If you liked this post then here is a longer version for your giggles.